Cop Tells 100 School Kids That Weed Makes Boys Grow “Boobies”

Cops, they say the darndest things. The York Regional Police, stationed in the northern suburb of the Greater Toronto Area, recently had to issue a pretty weird apology for an even weirder comment made by one of their own. 

“We’re no health experts,” tweeted the York Regional Police, “but we’re pretty sure getting high does not cause enhanced mammary growth in men. We are aware of the misinformation about cannabis that was unfortunately provided to the community by our officers. We’re working to address it.”

The Tweet was sent out in response to a comment by a drug recognition officer named Nigel Cole during an assembly between around 100 Catholic school students and a panel of police officials. One student asked a pretty fair question, if the officers believed the pros of legalization outweighed the cons. Cole gave a totally unexpected and bizarre reply.

“I like this question because I get to give my personal opinion,” said Cole. “You have peer pressure and drug dealers telling you about the great effects of marijuana, but I’m here to tell you there are some very negative effects…There are studies that marijuana lowers your testosterone; we call it ‘doobies make boobies.’ We’re finding 60% of 14-year-olds are developing ‘boobies.’”

So this one is new even to me, but apparently weed-spurred male breast growth is a thing that’s been out and about for awhile. Gynecomastia, the condition that causes men to grow extra breast tissue is real, but is often temporary and extremely common with or without hitting the bong. Even the statistic Cole cited is true, gynecomastia does affect 60% of male teenagers but it’s just because puberty is a blast.

Like a lot of drugs, cannabis can change hormonal levels, but nothing that would spur breast growth. Some people seem to believe that soy can do this too. Both are wrong. That is not how any of this works.